I have found understanding how anxiety "works" is a key component in dealing with it. Once we understand it, we are able to "deal" with it effectively.
Here's how I understand the anxiety.
Something (situation) or someone (person) provokes us. What or who provokes us is the "trigger".
I use quotes around the word trigger because when we dive deeper into our subconscious we realize the trigger is actually a belief that no longer serves us. More on that another time!
Let's take an example of a trigger:
Example: Family Gathering
In this case both the gathering (something/situation) and family (someone/person/people) may be at play.
Even before we get to the gathering, we start to feel anxiety in the present moment.
Why does this happen (write this one down!):
The mind doesn't know the difference between a real event happening now, or an imagined event, either past or future.
Once we are "triggered", what happens next?
2. Behavior - Mental & Emotional
We may feel contracted, jittery, confused, angry, fearful, overall, not good! These emotions feed our thoughts. We think things such as, "this is going to be miserable", "I don't want to see this person", etc, etc. We get ourselves all worked up because the thoughts we are having in the present, about the past, we are now projecting into the future. These negative/catastrophic type thoughts that are rooted in past experience cause us to think the future experience will be the same. These thoughts continue to feed our feelings and voila, we are officially in the anxiety loop. There's "nowhere" to go when we are in this loop except deeper down the rabbit hole. We may act out by not going to the gathering at all (avoiding behavior) or create drama (attacking behavior) leading up to or even at the gathering.
Note: Other avoidance behaviors include abusing alcohol & drugs, smoking, overworking, overeating, etc.
Why do we do this to our self? Wouldn't it make sense to simply learn healthy and effective ways to deal with our "triggers"? Yes!
However, until we rewire our brain, the trigger elicits a behavior that feels like a reward/payoff.
In this case of the family gathering, if we take the avoidance track, the "payoff" can be anything from making others wrong, now we are victims -- to the attacking track with a payoff of we are right and defending our point of view. There are many more variations of this and our payoffs. That said, usually the payoff is connected to being right, looking good, staying comfortable, and being in control. Once again I use quotes around the word payoff because in truth it isn't a true reward. We still haven't faced the root of the anxiety. We have merely put a band aid on it. Is this starting to sound familiar?
Learn how to deal with the "trigger".
1. Presence / Awareness
I use the words presence and awareness interchangeably. For me these words means being aware of what is happening in the present moment without resistance or judgment. Meaning, we accept what we are thinking and feeling, even if we don't like it. We are observing our experience.
Until we are aware of and accept this anxiety loop, nothing will change.
Once the energy of resistance and judgment is freed up, we consciously choose to focus our attention on dealing with the anxiety loop. The trigger is there, at least for now. Accept it.
Now it's time to re-evaluate the payoff. Is it really a payoff?
Ask yourself if avoiding or attacking behavior is really what feels good? Is that how you want to live? Avoiding or attacking? Perhaps there is a better way. Ask yourself if you can be absolutely sure, meaning 100% sure the payoffs are working for you. Spoiler alert: it's likely these payoffs are also directing other areas of your life.
If you can find even a .00000001% chance that there is a better way keep reading.
Even a sliver of possibility that there is a better way to manage the anxiety loop is an incredible start. Good for you! Acknowledge yourself for that. In this step you get to redirect your attention on things such as observing your experience, being compassionate with yourself (and others!) and changing your relationship with those payoffs. Meaning, you realize they are not in fact payoffs. In truth these "payoffs" actually keep you trapped in the trigger and therefore the anxiety loop.
If you resonate with this, and would like additional support on any of the above, please reach out.
I am passionate about showing people how to experience more health, happiness, and freedom to live the life of their dreams. Peaceful, prospering, connected...thriving.
Thanks for "listening". We go this!
>>>Email me here.
Summer Energy Maintenance
Like taking a shower, eating healthy food, and caring for our "material stuff", we also need to take care of our energy body.
By energy body I am talking about our physical body, mind/emotions & spirit, because we are energy!! It’s not uncommon for people to “forget” or be confused about our energy system. As far as I recall, schools don’t’ have classes on the energy body. Unless we are taught at home or seek out how the energy body impacts or day to life, we may find ourselves experiencing unnecessary suffering. By suffering I mean we may linger on problems and past events that end up keeping us stuck.
The picture above is my wedding day when we had our energy cleared with sage.
5 simple ways to maintain your energy body this summer:
Drink plenty of fluids, especially water. Sugary based drinks with "water" don't count. Most people feel tired, crampy, and cranky because they are dehydrated! Remember our body is made up of at least 50% water, or more.
2. Be Still
Often in the summer we are interacting with more people. If you start to feel "overloaded", especially empaths and highly sensitive people, give yourself permission to spend time by yourself, in stillness. By stillness I mean no TV/social media/distractions. Go for a silent walk/hike, meditate, or write. Maybe even try paint by number if you are like me (not much artistic ability!). You will be surprised how taking a few hours to be still will drastically refresh & renew you.
3. Energy Healing
Come to the Sanctuary for a Shamanic Energy Healing Session with me! Shamanic energy healing is one of the most ancient forms of healing practiced by humans worldwide. Shamanic sessions are powerful for assisting clients with big life changes such as: job transitions, marriage and divorce, finding love, death and grief, and manifesting of one's passion and life calling. The energy work is a proactive partnership between the client and practitioner that facilitates deep transformation and healing. Keep in mind Shamanism is not a religion - it is a way to improve your life. Email me to book.
4. Stay Inspired
If you find yourself getting bored/restless or “depressed”, do something that inspires you! This can be anything from a creative project to reading a book, listening to a podcast or trying a new activity! Sometimes even changing up your routines can add new inspiration to your day. Examples include changing your exercise routine, starting your day with 10 minutes of yoga/stretching/breathing, walk instead of drive, take a different route, and maybe call instead of text or social media!
5. Have Fun
Whatever you do, bring an attitude of fun to it. It will transform even the most mundane activities like folding laundry to an enjoyable experience. One of my favorite ways to add fun to the laundry routine is playing music I love and dancing while folding.
Remember, we only have this moment. Make it great by taking regular care of your energy body. If you want to learn more about the energy body, reach out, and I am happy to provide you with resources.
Do everything you possible can to feel your best. You deserve it!
At Bronxville Wellness Sanctuary we believe meditation is a powerful tool in personal transformation. From managing stress, anxiety, and PTSD to cultivating a deeper sense of inner peace and well-being, meditation can help.
Often when someone comes to us to learn meditation or deepen their practice they express "fear of doing it wrong".
Somehow there's an idea meditation has to be perfect, i.e.: no thoughts, distractions, emotions...even no animal friends joining us.
The truth is, there is no wrong way to meditate...unless you don't do it!!
Some days meditation is blissful and beautiful.
Other days it isn't and out mind is racing. We do it anyway.
It's the consistency of practice that yields "results".
Peter and Stephanie offer private meditation sessions. Whether you are looking to create a nourishing practice that is customized for you or wanting to deepen and existing practice, we are here for you. No experience necessary. Sessions are 30 minutes, $75
>>>Email Peter to Book.
>>>Email Stephanie to Book.
In this week's episode of Mind the Gap Stephanie talks about a topic that all of us have encountered in one way or another - depression.
It's real and can affect anyone.
In our culture there is still a lot of shame, secrecy, and even fear around depression. With suicide rates on the rise and continued uncertainty in our world it is vital we speak about this topic.
In real and honest terms Stephanie shares ways we can bring more awareness to this topic and how it's a very normal thing to feel depressed at one point or another in our life.
When depression hits, we may feel powerless, helpless...hopeless. We are scared, confused, embarrassed and feel alone.
By addressing how we are feeling, and then accepting it, we regain some power. With this power comes our ability to choose to reach out for help-- which gives us an opportunity to deal with it and move beyond feelings of helplessness.
By feeling and dealing, we activate the healing process as we move forward slowly. As we make progress, hope is slowly restored.
Let's work together to bring healing to our world. It starts with us. Let's Go!
Shamanic Energy Healing Benefits
When someone comes for a shamanic session, with me (Stephanie) we start with WHY.
What it comes down to for most of us is wanting to feel: peace, stable, protected and nourished. Wanting loving relationships, a fulfilling career, financial security...spiritual connection or purpose.
Why do we want to feel these things?
Because we are experiencing their opposite: stress, not grounded, unhappy, a void/lack, vulnerable, confused, disconnected, alone...to name a few.
How do we end up feeling this way?
By being human and getting caught in "bad" habits that no longer serve us.
There are many "bad" habits so I will share the top 5:
1. Lack of awareness
2. Endless doing
3. Resistance to change, or what "is"
4. Absorbing and then emitting negative energy (em-paths!),
What can we do?
Change our habits!! At the root level = energetic level.
Meaning we let old habits "die" and create new, life affirming ones.
When people ask how shamanic energy healing helped me change my habits, I invite them to experience one of the 2 sessions I offer.
The next question after that usually is, which one is "best"?
Here's what I will say, try not to over think.
Pay attention to what you are emotionally drawn to and try it.
For those needing more mental explanation, kindly note:
1. Shamanic Reading- Best for getting a surface level sense of your obstacle and some ways to overcome. A snapshot if you will.
2. Shamanic Energy Healing Session- Best for those who are saying "I am ready and willing to change habits once and for all in order to fully enjoy life". This session is about getting deeper/root level to bring about lasting, positive, healthy transformation. Multiple sessions are suggested as we will be co-creating your future.
Note: I offer all of the above in person (limited) and via phone.
Remember: We are working at the energetic level which means there is no need to be physically together. In fact, some of the most powerful work I've done is via phone because the physical can be distracting. When we work at the energetic level, it is the deepest level, allowing us to get to the "root". While it may be more intense at first, it is more effective, less work in the long run, and faster than tackling it from the mental/emotional. It is also incredibly empowering as we learn to become self-referencing...our own best teacher :) Once we change at the energetic level, the physical, mental, emotional follows suit. It's why I LOVE it!!! LOVE.
>>>Questions or to Book, Email Stephanie Here.