Why So Much Fear by Stephanie

I've always been fascinated with fear. Curious about why we have so much fear, seemingly everywhere. Rather than focus on why so much fear, I rather focus on what to do about it. For many of us fear keeps us stuck in a life pattern that makes us unhappy, stressed, confused, tired, etc.

What I have come to understand is that for many of us, fear is the default when we lack clarity about our life.  Meaning, when we lack clarify about who we are, what we want, what matters to us, etc, we will often to stay stuck...in fear. 

Why even discuss this?

A few reasons. 
Like many of you, fear has impacted all areas of my life at one time for another and to differing degrees.

Owning a business whose mission is to provide sanctuary for body, mind and spirit is no small task in a world that consumes fear in all its forms and then projects it onto everyone and everything. What I have learned in our business is that when we are able to provide sanctuary for people...something radically starts to shift.

We begin to see people (ourselves too) awaken to who they really are, which is love, unconditional. It's beautiful. And excruciatingly painful too. Childbirth? Running an ultra marathon? When love is felt  fears are faced. Paradox. Yes. 

Dealing with fear causes us to experience a whole range of emotions. That's healthy. However, when intense emotions arise, many of us lose our way. We lose our way because we aren't clear on who we are, which is love and why we are here, which is to love.

Fear is at the root of all emotion that isn't love...jealousy, attachment, judgment. When we live in fear, we will suffer.

So, we need to deal with fear, in all its forms, if we wish to raise our children in a loving world.

In my experience, when you get right down to it, we are either operating from fear or from love. 

And in order for the Sanctuary to "run" from love, instead of fear it's important, we are clear on our "offerings".

As in business, as in life.
Our personal mission guides our choices, our life. When we lack clarity about anything, the usual default is fear.

Fear of what? You name it. Fear of loss, rejection, the unknown, being who we are, missing out...the list is endless.

Fear as default applies to any area of life (relationship, career, money, spiritual practice, healthy, etc)

What to do?
Below are a few questions that help anchor me in the present so I continue to make choices that align with who I am, which is love.

1. Do I wish to experience inner peace or conflict?
Inner peace, of course!
Note: Some of us still like being in conflict...it provides a distraction of sorts and gives us an excuse not to take responsibility for our life. Ouch, yes. I get it.  Some of us are in conflict and don't even know it. All have been true for me. It's part of the human condition at times. It's up to us to be aware and then make the choice again and again as life carries on...

2. What must I be willing to do in order to experience inner peace?
Be open to trying things that support this way of living. There are many things/ tools we can do/ use: books, meditation, a mentor, energy work, prayer, workshops, podcasts... I do all of this and then some :) The point is, I am willing to do what it takes to live a peaceful life. Over time, we may need more or less of these things/ tools based on what we are facing in life. More stressful times = more support. Make sense?

3. Who must I become to experience inner peace?
Become a student of inner peace. Know thyself. Use the tools above.
Today, right now, begin to practice: acceptance, non-judgment, non-attachment, presence, compassion... and the big one - forgiveness. These are only a few and often the ones that are most profound.

Many words, many suggestions. It's really quite simple.

If you focus on choosing inner peace and practicing forgiveness, the rest will follow in time.

How so?
True inner peace is unconditional love, joy...presence. When we experience true inner peace, we have clarity to make choices that align with who we are...meaning we make loving choices cause we remember we are love!

Practicing forgiveness frees us from the past (hurts) and future (worry). Forgiveness roots us in the present. Life only happens in the present. You are life. You are love! 

The last point I want to share really makes the above "stick" for me by getting me into action, everyday, in small and when needed, larger ways:

"My desire for success in any area of life, must be greater than my fear."

Meaning, my desire to live from love in all areas of my life (this is how I define success) gives me the courage to face the fear and do what is required to continue.

Namaste,
​Stephanie

Life Transitions by Stephanie

How do we handle change with courage and grace?

​As the summer winds down, many of us experience "transitions" as we head back to school, back to work, back to life in perhaps a "new" way.
Maybe our loved ones are entering or exiting high school, college, the world of work (or are trying to). Maybe we are feeling what they are feeling in addition to what we are feeling!!! Yup, it's "a lot". 

As I've written about in the past few weeks, especially as it relates to "anxious energy", at times it is hard to discern what we are feeling and where / who it is coming from! 
In addition, times of transition and change often bring about this "anxious" energy. While it's not always pleasant, the discomfort that comes with newness and the unknown is normal! And yes, it's healthy. Rest assured, you are not alone. It is simply part of being human :)

During times of transition and heightened energy sometimes it feels as if we lose our way. We may be riding the roller coaster of feelings: depressed, overwhelmed, tired, confused, afraid...anything but relaxed!

What can we do?
Embrace ways of being that return us to a state of emotional balance...also known as equanimity.
As I talk about in Chapter Two of my book Reclaiming JOY, the emotional roller coaster is not sustainable and keeps us stuck. We react and often cause more turmoil.

This simple practice, called BRFWA, (that we love and use often at the Sanctuary) brings us back to a relaxed state where our emotions are in balance.
From this place of emotional balance or equanimity, we are able to ride the emotional wave without drowning in it / losing ourselves for too long. In equanimity we find our way back to peace and clarity and perhaps even a chuckle. Once clear, we are able to take clear, focused action that keeps us on the path of peace as we move toward our goals.

BRFWA Explained (Give yourself at least 3-5 minutes to experience this).

Breathe: As a wave of emotion comes over you, slow down your breath. 
Allow your breath to flow freely in and out. 

Relax: As you slow down your breath, your mind and body will begin to relax. 
Soften your muscles, let go of mental and physical tension.

Feel: As you relax, you are able to soften into what you are feeling.
Stay open to the sensations and emotions moving through you in this moment.

Watch: While feeling, you watch your experience closely, neither grasping what is pleasant nor pushing away what is painful.

Allow: As you watch, you allow the process to unfold. 
You accept yourself and your experience exactly as it is, dropping the need to change it in any way.  

BRWFA is the practice of being present. 
Being present is what we learn during meditation. 
Looking for more support? Consider cultivating an on-going meditation practice.
​​

Last week I spoke about how to deal with anxiety while also practicing presence.

Today I want to speak about a topic that not everyone grows up learning about: our energy body.

What is our energy body?
The easiest way to explain the energy body is to give you an example. Have you ever walked into a room / met someone and "feel" something either wonderful or strange? That's your energy body talking to you. It's a felt "sense".

Why is our energy body important?
We are made of energy. As such, we are constantly receiving and sending energetic messages throughout our day. The messages we send out and receive are a result of many factors such as: our thoughts, our emotions, our physical health. On a particular day if we are feeling tired and stressed, we may be sending out this energy to others. Especially if we are not mindful and doing our inner work not only will we send this energy out, at these times we are even more prone to absorb the energy of others. Yes, a perfect shi* storm if you will. And that's why I am writing this!!! To help you. And selfishly to help me because I feel it :) Since many of us are unaware of our energy body, we don't know what to do to keep it functioning well.

How does the energy body relate to anxiety?
Since we are made of energy, often when we feel something, like "anxiety", our mind becomes engaged in the story. Meaning, the mind searches for why we feel anxious. We usually want a way out of the "bad" feeling so the mind tries to come up with a solution. The mind loves finding solutions! Unfortunately, in the search for a solution we become addicted to these thoughts, of why and of story, and it has the opposite effect on us. Instead of clearing the anxiety (or quite frankly whatever energy it is - we love to label everything and sometimes it's simply the energy of excitement), we end up giving the energy more attention. Remember, whatever we give attention to grows!  
To make matters even more interesting, did you know that sometimes, it's not even "our" anxiety we are experiencing? Especially those of use who are sensitive, often we absorb other peoples energy, thinking it is our own. When this happens, and we think it is "our" energy, we end up creating such suffering for ourselves because we get lost in the addicted thoughts.

What to do?
Learn ways to manage your energy body on a consistent basis. Read about it. Take a class. Seek out people you trust who know about the energy body. Remember, even someone who practices "energy healing" can be adding to your anxiety if they aren't diligent about clearing their own energy.
Be open to modalities we offer here such as Reiki or Shamanic Energy healing.

Forward looking -- in the Fall I will be offering more classes on how to effectively manage your energy body.

Blessings and love,
Stephanie

Finding Our Way, by Stephanie
In the next few weeks, many of us will experience "transitions" as we head back to school, back to work, back to life…back to "reality".

In addition to this time of transition and change, many of us are feeling the heightened energy around us. It's real. For some, it's really hard to ignore and/or overcome.

During these times of transition and heightened energy sometimes we lose our way. We may be riding the roller coaster of feelings: depressed, overwhelmed, tired, confused, afraid...anything but relaxed!

How do we Find Our Way?
By returning to emotional balance...equanimity.
As I talk about in Chapter Two of my book Reclaiming JOY, the emotional roller coaster is not sustainable and keeps us stuck. We react and often cause more turmoil.
This simple practice, called BRFWA, brings us back to a relaxed state where our emotions are in balance.
From this place of emotional balance or equanimity, we are able to ride the emotional wave without drowning in it. In equanimity we find our way back to peace and clarity. Once clear, we are able to take action that keeps us on the path of peace.

BRFWA Explained: 

Breathe: As a wave of emotion comes over you, slow down your breath. Allow your breath to flow freely in and out. 

Relax: As you slow down your breath, your mind and body will begin to relax. Soften your muscles, let go of mental and physical tension.

Feel: As you relax, you are able to soften into what you are feeling. Stay open to the sensations and emotions moving through you in this moment.

Watch: While feeling, you watch your experience closely, neither grasping what is pleasant nor pushing away what is painful.

Allow: As you watch, you allow the process to unfold. You accept yourself and your experience exactly as it is, dropping the need to change it in any way.  

BRWFA is the practice of being present. Being present is what we learn during meditation. 
Looking for more support? Consider cultivating an on-going meditation practice.
​