What have you done lately to nourish you?
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Whether you are coming for massage, energy healing, or a yummy facial, we LOVE supporting you in re-filling your well.
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"It's in relationship we heal...when we have the courage to...cause it takes lots of courage to create peace. It's worth it." -Stephanie :)
Previously I have written about transformation and Shamanism.
Today I want to revisit relationship success...and in some cases "pain".
Relationships are one of my favorite topics. They have posed the greatest challenges for me, and have also been the most gratifying part of my life. Hmmm...a paradox? Yes! I love a good puzzle :)
Note: Above picture was taken last month on my birthday with sis, mom, and husband. These are examples of relationships I have advocated for, been insanely challenged by, healed, and totally appreciate today.
Because of this, I want to help you heal your relationships!!! It's so darn worth it.
When I say heal, we always have 3 options: accept, change, leave.
Think about it:
1. At some point or another, everything we do involves others...relationships of some type, at some depth, for some period of time. You may erroneously fantasize you can do it all alone, forever. I respectfully disagree.
2. Our ability to have good (peaceful, positive, prosperous, playful, present) relationships is a foundation for our well-being. I talk about this in more detail in my book Reclaiming Joy.
3. Relationships show us where we are on our spiritual path and can become our life long spiritual practice, aka our greatest teacher.
Perhaps at some points in your life, relationships caused so much pain, you felt you "didn't" want to engage. Understandable, yet not sustainable.
Maybe you experienced feeling like relationships were more trouble than they were worth. Makes sense.
As humans we don't like "pain".
And yet, pain, suffering, and trauma is how most of us learn.
By learn I mean, "wake up".
Why do we continue to do this to our self?
Why are we so resistant to waking up?
The cool thing is, we can choose to awaken.
We can choose to stop having to experience so much pain!!!
By awaken I mean we choose to become more conscious, aka, deal with our stuff!!!
As you may have experienced, if we don't deal with our stuff...life has a funny way of dealing with it for us.
And when life deals with it for us, it is often more painful than necessary. Something big has to happen to get our attention and then we act like something happened to us...when in reality, we simply have chosen to stay asleep at the wheel of our life.
Perhaps this sounds harsh.
Well, I am here to provoke your truth, and living your best self. That said, this isn't about right and wrong...good or bad.... It's not about judging ourselves and others and playing in that triangle of dis-empowerment I have spoken about --- victim, rescuer, perpetrator.
Part of awakening means we understand, through personal experience (knowing) a natural human tendency to want to avoid pain at all costs, thinking it will go away. The flaw in this line of thought is...whatever we avoid, will ultimately surface. You know the line, "whatever we resist, persists".
What to do?
In addition to getting serious about a daily meditation practice to focus the mind and center the emotional body--- start paying attention to your self talk and therefore your beliefs about relationships. It's only through awareness that we can transform.
Ask yourself questions:
Are relationships painful?
Are relationships joyful?
Depends on person, situation, what you want?
Am I attached, expecting, judging?
Working with people on healing relationships both on the meditation cushion and in shamanic energy sessions is one of my all time passions.
At some point, hopefully not on our deathbed, we realize that we all need people, it's no so serious, and it doesn't need to be so darn painful...if we are willing to commit to awakening.
I see you. You matter.
Mindset Challenge: Get Crafty & You Will
"If you hear a voice within you saying I am not a painter, by all means, paint, and that voice will be silenced."-Van Gogh
One of the best ways I know how to grow (think get unstuck) is by doing the exact things I say I "can't".
"I can't" feels disempowering, right? "I can" is much better!
There's been many times I have thought "I can't" over the years. Examples include things like owning a brick & mortar business to running - and lots of relationship stuff too. Painting was a big "I can't"!
When BWS temporarily closed last year during the pandemic, I got to painting to keep sane, and empowered.
Thankfully there is paint by number!
Pictured above is the result. Brings me such joy.
What's your "I can't"?
GO for it! BE creative and crafty in the "how".
Summer Self Care by Stephanie
“What you do for yourself-any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself-will affect how you experience your world.” -Pema Chodron
Nourish Body, Mind & Spirit
Summer is the perfect time to slow down and notice where you need to be "fed", aka, practice self care. Nobody can do this for us. And if we don't do this for ourselves, we risk becoming resentful, contracted, and unhappy! We must feed ourselves in order to feed others.
As I spoke about last week, we are in charge of our own happiness and this includes on going self care. Give yourself permission to do what makes you feel good. You're worth it.
Top 5 Picks to Nourish Body, Mind & Spirit:
Massage - From therapeutic and deep tissue massage to relaxing massage, it's one of the oldest healing modalities. Massage can relax muscles, soothe aches and pains, release energy blockages, rejuvenate body, mind and spirit.
Yoga - Yoga promotes inner and outer health & well-being. In addition to improving physical health: flexibility, strength, balance, pain management, yoga is a powerful tool in personal transformation. Yoga has been shown to decrease stress, helping with anxiety and PTSD, while improving our mood and outlook on life.
Meditation- We get 2 choices: medicate or meditate. From managing stress, anxiety, and PTSD to cultivating a deeper sense of inner peace and well-being, meditation can help.
Energy Healing - Chakra Balancing is an energetic healing technique that works holistically on the body, mind and spirit from the inside out. Major systems of the body are restored with life-force energy to promote body's natural ability to heal. Chakras will be cleared and re-balanced so you feel lighter and empowered.
Reading List - Self-enrichment is one of the keys to growth.
Our top 5:
-Untethered Soul by Michael Singer -- We are all trying to be okay. Guess what? You already are!
-Reclaiming Joy by Stephanie Filardi -- 4 Steps, when applied, to live happy, healthy, free.
-A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle -- Awakening to your life's purpose and then some!
-A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson -- Love is a potent force and the key to peace...in relationships, work, life...
-Women, Food & God by Geneen Roth -- How we eat teaches us volumes about our life. Time to stop the battle with food and deeply listen.
Namaste. And so it is. Choice. I've been pondering choices lately. I am not so much interested in sharing the types of choices in this space. I am more interested in sharing a concept: choice is life.
What do I mean? Well, consider it. Aren't our choices, both the small ones and the big ones, what make up the fabric of our life?
Whether we did or didn't want something to happen, we are still in a position to choose. We may choose what to "do" next. We may choose what "not" to do next. Or perhaps we may choose being over doing. Meaning, we choose to be peace, positive, possibility...and allow our being to inform our doing.
When we are rooted in being infinite peace and love, we are clear and confident in our choice, no matter what we choose. These are the choices that are life affirming and life altering. Choice is life.
If you have not yet seen the movie "The Choice" I suggest watching. It captures the power of our choices and how they impact our life so beautifully. A love story, no doubt...based on a book by Nicholas Sparks. The story plays out based on choices made as well as those not made...
Today during yoga I was reminded again that not choosing is also a choice, and a very powerful one. Not choosing happens in 2 ways.
The first way is by making a conscious decision not to choose. The second way is by being unaware of what we are not aware of and having habitual patterns/ways of being choose for us.
Think of it as sleepwalking through life or allowing other peoples expectations to control us.
Notice if you are falling into judgment or blame after reading this. Exhale and see it for what it is. Learning. Choice is life. All experience is an opportunity to awaken so we may choose differently.
My prayer is that we continue to expand our awareness with practices like yoga and meditation and also by having friends and mentors who lovingly hold up the mirror for us.
As we expand our awareness to include all of our choices, may we have the courage to choose the options before us that are life affirming. May we choose the options that help us become the best version of our self.
May we create a life filled with so much peace, love, joy, and gratitude that it overflows to all who cross our path.
Choice is Life. Our Choice is Our Life.