BRONXVILLE WELLNESS SANCTUARY
914.337.9356
info@bronxvillewellness.com​
  • Gift Certificates
  • Book Now
  • Services
    • Body >
      • Relaxing Massage
      • Therapeutic Bodywork
      • Facials
      • Waxing and Tinting
    • Mind & Spirit >
      • Yoga & Meditation
      • Energy Healing >
        • Shamanic / Reiki Energy Healing
    • Prospering Life Mentorship
    • Packages & Series
  • About
    • Our Staff >
      • Stephanie Filardi
      • Peter Iocovello
    • Sanctuary in Westchester County
    • Customer Reviews
    • Our Space
    • Policies
    • Contact
  • Blog

Dealing With Anxiety

8/29/2022

 
Picture
I have found understanding how anxiety "works" is a key component in dealing with it. Once we understand it, we are able to "deal" with it effectively. And we are also better able to be compassionate toward ourselves and others.

Here's how I understand the anxiety.

1. Trigger
Something (situation) or someone (person) outside our control provokes us. What or who provokes us is the "trigger".
I use quotes around the word trigger because when we dive deeper into our subconscious we realize the trigger is actually a belief that no longer serves us. More on that another time!

Let's take an example of a  trigger:
Example: Family Gathering
In this case both the gathering (something/situation) and family (someone/person/people) may be at play.

Even before we get to the gathering, we start to feel anxiety in the present.

Our thoughts and emotions start gaining (usually negative) momentum as we project into the "future" what we "think" will happen based on the "past". 

Why does this happen (write this one down!)?

T
he mind doesn't know the difference between a real event happening now, or an imagined event, either past or future.

Once we are "triggered", what happens next?


2. Behavior - Mental & Emotional
​We may feel contracted, jittery, confused, angry, fearful, overall, not good! These emotions feed our thoughts. We think things such as, "this is going to be miserable", "I don't want to see this person", etc, etc. We get ourselves all worked up because the thoughts we are having in the present, about the past, we are now projecting into the future. These negative/catastrophic type  thoughts that are rooted in past experience cause us to think the future experience will be the same
. These thoughts continue to feed our feelings and voila, we are officially in the anxiety loop. There's "nowhere" to go when we are in this loop except deeper down the rabbit hole. We may act out by not going to the gathering at all (avoiding behavior) or create drama (attacking behavior) leading up to or even at the gathering.

 Note: Other avoidance behaviors include abusing alcohol & drugs, smoking, overworking, overeating, etc.

Why do we do this to our self?
Wouldn't it make sense to simply learn healthy and effective ways to deal with our "triggers"? Yes!
However, until we rewire our brain, the trigger elicits a behavior that feels like a reward/payoff.


3. Payoff
In this case of the family gathering, if we take the avoidance track, the "payoff" can be anything from making others wrong, now we are victims -- to the attacking track with a payoff of we are right and defending our point of view. There are many more variations of this and our payoffs. That said, usually the payoff is connected to being right, looking good, staying comfortable, and being in control (AKA Ego). Once again I use quotes around the word payoff because in truth it isn't a true reward. We still haven't faced the root of the anxiety. We have merely put a band aid on it. Is this starting to sound familiar?

Now what? 

Learn how to deal with the anxiety "trigger".
Keep in mind "trigger" can also be our thoughts about the never ending to do lists at home, at work...in life as well as comparing ourselves to others. Our triggers vary and are many!

How to Deal:

1. Presence / Awareness
I use the words presence and awareness interchangeably. For me these words means being aware of what is happening in the present moment without resistance or judgment. Meaning, we accept what we are thinking and feeling, even if we don't like it. We are observing our experience.
Until we are aware of and accept this anxiety loop, nothing will change. 

Once the energy of resistance and judgment is freed up, we consciously choose to focus our attention on dealing with the anxiety loop. The trigger is there, at least for now. Accept it. 
Now it's time to re-evaluate the payoff. Is it really a payoff?

2. Reassess
Ask yourself if avoiding or attacking behavior is really what feels good? Is that how you want to live? Avoiding or attacking? Perhaps there is a better way. Ask yourself if you can be absolutely sure, meaning 100% sure the payoffs are working for you. Spoiler alert: it's likely these payoffs are also directing other areas of your life.

If you can find even a .00000001% chance that there is a better way keep reading.

3. Redirect
Even  a sliver of possibility that there is a better way to manage the anxiety loop is an incredible start. Good for you! Acknowledge yourself for that. In this step you get to redirect your attention on things such as observing your experience, being compassionate with yourself (and others!) and changing your relationship with those payoffs. Meaning, you realize they are not in fact payoffs. In truth these "payoffs" actually keep you trapped in the trigger and therefore the anxiety loop.

If you resonate with this, and would like additional support on any of the above, please reach out.

I am passionate about showing people how to experience more health, happiness, and freedom to live the life of their dreams. Peaceful, prospering, connected...thriving.

Thanks for "listening". We go this!
Stephanie

>>>Email me here.

>>>Book an energy session to clear it!



Comments are closed.

    Author

    Stephanie Filardi

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    September 2015
    June 2015

    Categories

    All
    Anxiety
    Bronxville Sanctuary Week
    Brow Shaping
    Brow Tinting
    CBD
    Chair Massage
    Chakras
    Coaching
    Couples Massage
    Cupping
    Depression Remedy
    Energy Healing
    Events
    Facials
    Feng Shui
    Fundraisers
    Gift Certificates
    Gratitude
    Hot Stone Massage
    Lymphatic Massage
    Massage
    Meditation
    Nutrition
    Pain Management
    Panic Attacks
    Pet Health
    Podcast
    Prenatal Massage
    PTSD
    Readings
    Reclaiming JOY
    Reflexology
    Reiki
    Relationships
    Retreats
    Self Care
    Shamanic Energy Healing
    Spirituality
    Stretching
    Therapeutic Bodywork
    Videos
    Waxing
    Weight Loss
    Yoga
    Yoga Teacher Training
    Yoga Therapy Bronxville

    RSS Feed

Address:

14 Studio Arcade
Bronxville, NY 10708
United States

hours:

Monday: 11:00am - 4:00pm
Tuesday/Wednesday: 10:30am - 6:30pm
Thursday: 10:00am - 6:00pm

Fri/Sat/Sun: 10:00am - 5:00pm

Contact:

(914) 337-9356
info@bronxvillewellness.com
  • Gift Certificates
  • Book Now
  • Services
    • Body >
      • Relaxing Massage
      • Therapeutic Bodywork
      • Facials
      • Waxing and Tinting
    • Mind & Spirit >
      • Yoga & Meditation
      • Energy Healing >
        • Shamanic / Reiki Energy Healing
    • Prospering Life Mentorship
    • Packages & Series
  • About
    • Our Staff >
      • Stephanie Filardi
      • Peter Iocovello
    • Sanctuary in Westchester County
    • Customer Reviews
    • Our Space
    • Policies
    • Contact
  • Blog
About | Services | Book Now | Contact

Contact Us

Bronxville Wellness Sanctuary 
Call 914.337.9356

Or come visit us at:
​​14 Studio Arcade
​Bronxville, NY 10708

    Subscribe to our Newsletter

Submit
Site Powered by CoulterWebPros.com
© COPYRIGHT 2020. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.