What have you done lately to nourish you?
At the Sanctuary our mission is to give you an experience of deep nourishment for body, mind, and spirit.
Whether you are coming for massage, energy healing, or a yummy facial, we LOVE supporting you in re-filling your well.
Maybe you want to try a new service, or combine them. Whatever you decide, we are here to answer any questions you have!
>>>Email Us Here or Call Us: 914.337.9356
Feeling unclear, disconnected, maybe even down?
Take time for stillness.
We live in a non-stop and noisy world.
Over time this may drown out our own voice.
In stillness lives your connection to yourself, your desires...your truth.
One of our favorite ways to access stillness is with meditation.
Another way...simply sit in silence and watch nature.
"It's in relationship we heal...when we have the courage to...cause it takes lots of courage to create peace. It's worth it." -Stephanie :)
Previously I have written about transformation and Shamanism.
Today I want to revisit relationship success...and in some cases "pain".
Relationships are one of my favorite topics. They have posed the greatest challenges for me, and have also been the most gratifying part of my life. Hmmm...a paradox? Yes! I love a good puzzle :)
Note: Above picture was taken last month on my birthday with sis, mom, and husband. These are examples of relationships I have advocated for, been insanely challenged by, healed, and totally appreciate today.
Because of this, I want to help you heal your relationships!!! It's so darn worth it.
When I say heal, we always have 3 options: accept, change, leave.
Think about it:
1. At some point or another, everything we do involves others...relationships of some type, at some depth, for some period of time. You may erroneously fantasize you can do it all alone, forever. I respectfully disagree.
2. Our ability to have good (peaceful, positive, prosperous, playful, present) relationships is a foundation for our well-being. I talk about this in more detail in my book Reclaiming Joy.
3. Relationships show us where we are on our spiritual path and can become our life long spiritual practice, aka our greatest teacher.
Perhaps at some points in your life, relationships caused so much pain, you felt you "didn't" want to engage. Understandable, yet not sustainable.
Maybe you experienced feeling like relationships were more trouble than they were worth. Makes sense.
As humans we don't like "pain".
And yet, pain, suffering, and trauma is how most of us learn.
By learn I mean, "wake up".
Why do we continue to do this to our self?
Why are we so resistant to waking up?
The cool thing is, we can choose to awaken.
We can choose to stop having to experience so much pain!!!
By awaken I mean we choose to become more conscious, aka, deal with our stuff!!!
As you may have experienced, if we don't deal with our stuff...life has a funny way of dealing with it for us.
And when life deals with it for us, it is often more painful than necessary. Something big has to happen to get our attention and then we act like something happened to us...when in reality, we simply have chosen to stay asleep at the wheel of our life.
Perhaps this sounds harsh.
Well, I am here to provoke your truth, and living your best self. That said, this isn't about right and wrong...good or bad.... It's not about judging ourselves and others and playing in that triangle of dis-empowerment I have spoken about --- victim, rescuer, perpetrator.
Part of awakening means we understand, through personal experience (knowing) a natural human tendency to want to avoid pain at all costs, thinking it will go away. The flaw in this line of thought is...whatever we avoid, will ultimately surface. You know the line, "whatever we resist, persists".
What to do?
In addition to getting serious about a daily meditation practice to focus the mind and center the emotional body--- start paying attention to your self talk and therefore your beliefs about relationships. It's only through awareness that we can transform.
Ask yourself questions:
Are relationships painful?
Are relationships joyful?
Depends on person, situation, what you want?
Am I attached, expecting, judging?
Working with people on healing relationships both on the meditation cushion and in shamanic energy sessions is one of my all time passions.
At some point, hopefully not on our deathbed, we realize that we all need people, it's no so serious, and it doesn't need to be so darn painful...if we are willing to commit to awakening.
I see you. You matter.
I have found understanding how anxiety "works" is a key component in dealing with it. Once we understand it, we are able to "deal" with it effectively.
Here's how I understand the anxiety.
Something (situation) or someone (person) provokes us. What or who provokes us is the "trigger".
I use quotes around the word trigger because when we dive deeper into our subconscious we realize the trigger is actually a belief that no longer serves us. More on that another time!
Let's take an example of a trigger:
Example: Family Gathering
In this case both the gathering (something/situation) and family (someone/person/people) may be at play.
Even before we get to the gathering, we start to feel anxiety in the present moment.
Why does this happen (write this one down!):
The mind doesn't know the difference between a real event happening now, or an imagined event, either past or future.
Once we are "triggered", what happens next?
2. Behavior - Mental & Emotional
We may feel contracted, jittery, confused, angry, fearful, overall, not good! These emotions feed our thoughts. We think things such as, "this is going to be miserable", "I don't want to see this person", etc, etc. We get ourselves all worked up because the thoughts we are having in the present, about the past, we are now projecting into the future. These negative/catastrophic type thoughts that are rooted in past experience cause us to think the future experience will be the same. These thoughts continue to feed our feelings and voila, we are officially in the anxiety loop. There's "nowhere" to go when we are in this loop except deeper down the rabbit hole. We may act out by not going to the gathering at all (avoiding behavior) or create drama (attacking behavior) leading up to or even at the gathering.
Note: Other avoidance behaviors include abusing alcohol & drugs, smoking, overworking, overeating, etc.
Why do we do this to our self? Wouldn't it make sense to simply learn healthy and effective ways to deal with our "triggers"? Yes!
However, until we rewire our brain, the trigger elicits a behavior that feels like a reward/payoff.
In this case of the family gathering, if we take the avoidance track, the "payoff" can be anything from making others wrong, now we are victims -- to the attacking track with a payoff of we are right and defending our point of view. There are many more variations of this and our payoffs. That said, usually the payoff is connected to being right, looking good, staying comfortable, and being in control. Once again I use quotes around the word payoff because in truth it isn't a true reward. We still haven't faced the root of the anxiety. We have merely put a band aid on it. Is this starting to sound familiar?
Learn how to deal with the "trigger".
1. Presence / Awareness
I use the words presence and awareness interchangeably. For me these words means being aware of what is happening in the present moment without resistance or judgment. Meaning, we accept what we are thinking and feeling, even if we don't like it. We are observing our experience.
Until we are aware of and accept this anxiety loop, nothing will change.
Once the energy of resistance and judgment is freed up, we consciously choose to focus our attention on dealing with the anxiety loop. The trigger is there, at least for now. Accept it.
Now it's time to re-evaluate the payoff. Is it really a payoff?
Ask yourself if avoiding or attacking behavior is really what feels good? Is that how you want to live? Avoiding or attacking? Perhaps there is a better way. Ask yourself if you can be absolutely sure, meaning 100% sure the payoffs are working for you. Spoiler alert: it's likely these payoffs are also directing other areas of your life.
If you can find even a .00000001% chance that there is a better way keep reading.
Even a sliver of possibility that there is a better way to manage the anxiety loop is an incredible start. Good for you! Acknowledge yourself for that. In this step you get to redirect your attention on things such as observing your experience, being compassionate with yourself (and others!) and changing your relationship with those payoffs. Meaning, you realize they are not in fact payoffs. In truth these "payoffs" actually keep you trapped in the trigger and therefore the anxiety loop.
If you resonate with this, and would like additional support on any of the above, please reach out.
I am passionate about showing people how to experience more health, happiness, and freedom to live the life of their dreams. Peaceful, prospering, connected...thriving.
Thanks for "listening". We go this!
>>>Email me here.
Summer Energy Maintenance
Like taking a shower, eating healthy food, and caring for our "material stuff", we also need to take care of our energy body.
By energy body I am talking about our physical body, mind/emotions & spirit, because we are energy!! It’s not uncommon for people to “forget” or be confused about our energy system. As far as I recall, schools don’t’ have classes on the energy body. Unless we are taught at home or seek out how the energy body impacts or day to life, we may find ourselves experiencing unnecessary suffering. By suffering I mean we may linger on problems and past events that end up keeping us stuck.
The picture above is my wedding day when we had our energy cleared with sage.
5 simple ways to maintain your energy body this summer:
Drink plenty of fluids, especially water. Sugary based drinks with "water" don't count. Most people feel tired, crampy, and cranky because they are dehydrated! Remember our body is made up of at least 50% water, or more.
2. Be Still
Often in the summer we are interacting with more people. If you start to feel "overloaded", especially empaths and highly sensitive people, give yourself permission to spend time by yourself, in stillness. By stillness I mean no TV/social media/distractions. Go for a silent walk/hike, meditate, or write. Maybe even try paint by number if you are like me (not much artistic ability!). You will be surprised how taking a few hours to be still will drastically refresh & renew you.
3. Energy Healing
Come to the Sanctuary for a Shamanic Energy Healing Session with me! Shamanic energy healing is one of the most ancient forms of healing practiced by humans worldwide. Shamanic sessions are powerful for assisting clients with big life changes such as: job transitions, marriage and divorce, finding love, death and grief, and manifesting of one's passion and life calling. The energy work is a proactive partnership between the client and practitioner that facilitates deep transformation and healing. Keep in mind Shamanism is not a religion - it is a way to improve your life. Email me to book.
4. Stay Inspired
If you find yourself getting bored/restless or “depressed”, do something that inspires you! This can be anything from a creative project to reading a book, listening to a podcast or trying a new activity! Sometimes even changing up your routines can add new inspiration to your day. Examples include changing your exercise routine, starting your day with 10 minutes of yoga/stretching/breathing, walk instead of drive, take a different route, and maybe call instead of text or social media!
5. Have Fun
Whatever you do, bring an attitude of fun to it. It will transform even the most mundane activities like folding laundry to an enjoyable experience. One of my favorite ways to add fun to the laundry routine is playing music I love and dancing while folding.
Remember, we only have this moment. Make it great by taking regular care of your energy body. If you want to learn more about the energy body, reach out, and I am happy to provide you with resources.
Do everything you possible can to feel your best. You deserve it!