I have found understanding how anxiety "works" is a key component in dealing with it. Once we understand it, we are able to "deal" with it effectively.
Here's how I understand the anxiety.
Something (situation) or someone (person) provokes us. What or who provokes us is the "trigger".
I use quotes around the word trigger because when we dive deeper into our subconscious we realize the trigger is actually a belief that no longer serves us. More on that another time!
Let's take an example of a trigger:
Example: Family Gathering
In this case both the gathering (something/situation) and family (someone/person/people) may be at play.
Even before we get to the gathering, we start to feel anxiety in the present moment.
Why does this happen (write this one down!):
The mind doesn't know the difference between a real event happening now, or an imagined event, either past or future.
Once we are "triggered", what happens next?
2. Behavior - Mental & Emotional
We may feel contracted, jittery, confused, angry, fearful, overall, not good! These emotions feed our thoughts. We think things such as, "this is going to be miserable", "I don't want to see this person", etc, etc. We get ourselves all worked up because the thoughts we are having in the present, about the past, we are now projecting into the future. These negative/catastrophic type thoughts that are rooted in past experience cause us to think the future experience will be the same. These thoughts continue to feed our feelings and voila, we are officially in the anxiety loop. There's "nowhere" to go when we are in this loop except deeper down the rabbit hole. We may act out by not going to the gathering at all (avoiding behavior) or create drama (attacking behavior) leading up to or even at the gathering.
Note: Other avoidance behaviors include abusing alcohol & drugs, smoking, overworking, overeating, etc.
Why do we do this to our self? Wouldn't it make sense to simply learn healthy and effective ways to deal with our "triggers"? Yes!
However, until we rewire our brain, the trigger elicits a behavior that feels like a reward/payoff.
In this case of the family gathering, if we take the avoidance track, the "payoff" can be anything from making others wrong, now we are victims -- to the attacking track with a payoff of we are right and defending our point of view. There are many more variations of this and our payoffs. That said, usually the payoff is connected to being right, looking good, staying comfortable, and being in control. Once again I use quotes around the word payoff because in truth it isn't a true reward. We still haven't faced the root of the anxiety. We have merely put a band aid on it. Is this starting to sound familiar?
Learn how to deal with the "trigger".
1. Presence / Awareness
I use the words presence and awareness interchangeably. For me these words means being aware of what is happening in the present moment without resistance or judgment. Meaning, we accept what we are thinking and feeling, even if we don't like it. We are observing our experience.
Until we are aware of and accept this anxiety loop, nothing will change.
Once the energy of resistance and judgment is freed up, we consciously choose to focus our attention on dealing with the anxiety loop. The trigger is there, at least for now. Accept it.
Now it's time to re-evaluate the payoff. Is it really a payoff?
Ask yourself if avoiding or attacking behavior is really what feels good? Is that how you want to live? Avoiding or attacking? Perhaps there is a better way. Ask yourself if you can be absolutely sure, meaning 100% sure the payoffs are working for you. Spoiler alert: it's likely these payoffs are also directing other areas of your life.
If you can find even a .00000001% chance that there is a better way keep reading.
Even a sliver of possibility that there is a better way to manage the anxiety loop is an incredible start. Good for you! Acknowledge yourself for that. In this step you get to redirect your attention on things such as observing your experience, being compassionate with yourself (and others!) and changing your relationship with those payoffs. Meaning, you realize they are not in fact payoffs. In truth these "payoffs" actually keep you trapped in the trigger and therefore the anxiety loop.
If you resonate with this, and would like additional support on any of the above, please reach out.
I am passionate about showing people how to experience more health, happiness, and freedom to live the life of their dreams. Peaceful, prospering, connected...thriving.
Thanks for "listening". We go this!
>>>Email me here.
Summer Energy Maintenance
Like taking a shower, eating healthy food, and caring for our "material stuff", we also need to take care of our energy body.
By energy body I am talking about our physical body, mind/emotions & spirit, because we are energy!! It’s not uncommon for people to “forget” or be confused about our energy system. As far as I recall, schools don’t’ have classes on the energy body. Unless we are taught at home or seek out how the energy body impacts or day to life, we may find ourselves experiencing unnecessary suffering. By suffering I mean we may linger on problems and past events that end up keeping us stuck.
The picture above is my wedding day when we had our energy cleared with sage.
5 simple ways to maintain your energy body this summer:
Drink plenty of fluids, especially water. Sugary based drinks with "water" don't count. Most people feel tired, crampy, and cranky because they are dehydrated! Remember our body is made up of at least 50% water, or more.
2. Be Still
Often in the summer we are interacting with more people. If you start to feel "overloaded", especially empaths and highly sensitive people, give yourself permission to spend time by yourself, in stillness. By stillness I mean no TV/social media/distractions. Go for a silent walk/hike, meditate, or write. Maybe even try paint by number if you are like me (not much artistic ability!). You will be surprised how taking a few hours to be still will drastically refresh & renew you.
3. Energy Healing
Come to the Sanctuary for a Shamanic Energy Healing Session with me! Shamanic energy healing is one of the most ancient forms of healing practiced by humans worldwide. Shamanic sessions are powerful for assisting clients with big life changes such as: job transitions, marriage and divorce, finding love, death and grief, and manifesting of one's passion and life calling. The energy work is a proactive partnership between the client and practitioner that facilitates deep transformation and healing. Keep in mind Shamanism is not a religion - it is a way to improve your life. Email me to book.
4. Stay Inspired
If you find yourself getting bored/restless or “depressed”, do something that inspires you! This can be anything from a creative project to reading a book, listening to a podcast or trying a new activity! Sometimes even changing up your routines can add new inspiration to your day. Examples include changing your exercise routine, starting your day with 10 minutes of yoga/stretching/breathing, walk instead of drive, take a different route, and maybe call instead of text or social media!
5. Have Fun
Whatever you do, bring an attitude of fun to it. It will transform even the most mundane activities like folding laundry to an enjoyable experience. One of my favorite ways to add fun to the laundry routine is playing music I love and dancing while folding.
Remember, we only have this moment. Make it great by taking regular care of your energy body. If you want to learn more about the energy body, reach out, and I am happy to provide you with resources.
Do everything you possible can to feel your best. You deserve it!
Last week I spoke about healing the past with shamanic energy healing.
Do you know what else happens when you heal the past?
You heal the present! And when you heal the present, you empower your future.
The future is created in the present moment. When we are filled with pain/anger/resentment/imprints from the past -- in the present moment, our ability to make empowered choices for our future is affected.
Another reason I love shamanic energy healing is because it is powerful and works with nature, rather than against it.
Think about it.
If we are holding onto negative energy from the past, it keeps us rigid in the present. Since the mind doesn't know the difference between real and imagined, whenever we "relive" the past with our thoughts and emotions we continue to experience pain in the present. Doesn't it make sense that in order to move forward in our life we must shed/heal and ultimately forgive? I am not saying to push aside our feelings. By all means, deal with your feelings! If you resist, they will persist.
The first step in healing is feeling, and then dealing. Unfortunately, many of us get stuck in the feeling so we don't deal and we stay unhappy/stuck/angry, etc. I did a podcast on feeling and dealing. Listen to it here.
Once we shed and heal the past, we empower our present and therefore our future! How exciting!
We gain clarity, wisdom, and perhaps most importantly we free ourselves from the heavy burden we have been carrying for too long. The release is sweet. The freedom and life force energy that gets generated is powerful and propels us forward.
We begin to make choices in the present that empower our future today. I've see it countless times in my life and in the lives of others. It's why I "do what I do".
>>>Questions or to Book a Shamanic Session email Stephanie here.
"We can't be judgmental of someone at work and leave it behind just by leaving work. We can't stay angry at our spouse. If we look fearfully at one thing, a tinge of anxiety settles over all things. Judgment, anger, and fear are all mindsets." - Hugh Prather
Last week I wrote about shedding the past and that in order to truly live a life of peace, prosperity and connection - to become masters at manifestation - at some point we must shed the past. Fully.
When I say past I mean other lifetimes, and the ancestral, cultural, karmic, and childhood imprints we absorb. This is why I LOVE energy healing, specifically shamanic energy healing.
This week I share about healing the past. Shamanic energy healing is a highly effective way of making the unconscious conscious --and healing deeply rooted trauma that we cannot always get to in talk therapy. When I speak of trauma I am speaking of things we have experienced in this lifetime and also imprints/patterns that have been passed down from one generation to the next. These imprints can be addiction, abuse, poverty, anger, fear...etc.
In order for us to access who we are and bring forth our unique gifts, we must BOTH shed and heal. Shedding leaves space, a clearing if you will. Healing brings about harmony with the energy of what was "shed". Meaning, if we experience abuse of any kind or absorb imprints that have been passed down through generations/ancestors, this energy gets stored in our body. Whoever we absorbed this energy from-- this relationship needs to get healed. The energy of anger/hate/bitterness binds energetically to someone as much as love does. Think about that. This is one reason we practice forgiveness. Peace doesn't come with hate. The two can't co-exist.
As we shed the energy, and heal the relationship (there are many ways to do this in shamanic energy healing - even if the person is on the other side) we are ready to fill the "space".
What do we fill the space with? Positive. life affirming energy and beliefs in order to create the life we desire.
One of the reasons I am drawn to shamanic work is the extraordinary transformation I have witnessed in my own life and the lives of countless others when we focus on healing as well as releasing the harmful imprints (ancestral/karmic, etc). There is a ripple effect that happens as well. As we heal individually -- healing also happens for those who are or have been connected to these harmful imprints. It's so beautiful.
In our Western mindset, which values the complex and material over the energetic, I understand how some of these concepts can seem odd. I actually find this work simple, logical, in harmony with nature and as such - powerful.
As we open our individual hearts and minds to healing harmful imprints, we also impact the collective. How cool is that!
We have the power to shift the world to peace.
>>>Questions or to Book a Shamanic Session, Email Stephanie here
To accommodate your needs, we are now open Tuesdays from 12:00pm-4:00pm.
Karen - Massage
Peter - Massage, Private Yoga
Stephanie - Shamanic /Energy Healing, Readings, Meditation
>>>Book Online Here or Call Us: 914.337.9356