Why So Much Fear by Stephanie
I've always been fascinated with fear. Curious about why we have so much fear, seemingly everywhere. Rather than focus on why so much fear, I rather focus on what to do about it. For many of us fear keeps us stuck in a life pattern that makes us unhappy, stressed, confused, tired, etc.
What I have come to understand is that for many of us, fear is the default when we lack clarity about our life. Meaning, when we lack clarify about who we are, what we want, what matters to us, etc, we will often to stay stuck...in fear.
Why even discuss this?
A few reasons.
Like many of you, fear has impacted all areas of my life at one time for another and to differing degrees.
Owning a business whose mission is to provide sanctuary for body, mind and spirit is no small task in a world that consumes fear in all its forms and then projects it onto everyone and everything. What I have learned in our business is that when we are able to provide sanctuary for people...something radically starts to shift.
We begin to see people (ourselves too) awaken to who they really are, which is love, unconditional. It's beautiful. And excruciatingly painful too. Childbirth? Running an ultra marathon? When love is felt fears are faced. Paradox. Yes.
Dealing with fear causes us to experience a whole range of emotions. That's healthy. However, when intense emotions arise, many of us lose our way. We lose our way because we aren't clear on who we are, which is love and why we are here, which is to love.
Fear is at the root of all emotion that isn't love...jealousy, attachment, judgment. When we live in fear, we will suffer.
So, we need to deal with fear, in all its forms, if we wish to raise our children in a loving world.
In my experience, when you get right down to it, we are either operating from fear or from love.
And in order for the Sanctuary to "run" from love, instead of fear it's important, we are clear on our "offerings".
As in business, as in life.
Our personal mission guides our choices, our life. When we lack clarity about anything, the usual default is fear.
Fear of what? You name it. Fear of loss, rejection, the unknown, being who we are, missing out...the list is endless.
Fear as default applies to any area of life (relationship, career, money, spiritual practice, healthy, etc)
What to do?
Below are a few questions that help anchor me in the present so I continue to make choices that align with who I am, which is love.
1. Do I wish to experience inner peace or conflict?
Inner peace, of course!
Note: Some of us still like being in conflict...it provides a distraction of sorts and gives us an excuse not to take responsibility for our life. Ouch, yes. I get it. Some of us are in conflict and don't even know it. All have been true for me. It's part of the human condition at times. It's up to us to be aware and then make the choice again and again as life carries on...
2. What must I be willing to do in order to experience inner peace?
Be open to trying things that support this way of living. There are many things/ tools we can do/ use: books, meditation, a mentor, energy work, prayer, workshops, podcasts... I do all of this and then some :) The point is, I am willing to do what it takes to live a peaceful life. Over time, we may need more or less of these things/ tools based on what we are facing in life. More stressful times = more support. Make sense?
3. Who must I become to experience inner peace?
Become a student of inner peace. Know thyself. Use the tools above.
Today, right now, begin to practice: acceptance, non-judgment, non-attachment, presence, compassion... and the big one - forgiveness. These are only a few and often the ones that are most profound.
Many words, many suggestions. It's really quite simple.
If you focus on choosing inner peace and practicing forgiveness, the rest will follow in time.
True inner peace is unconditional love, joy...presence. When we experience true inner peace, we have clarity to make choices that align with who we are...meaning we make loving choices cause we remember we are love!
Practicing forgiveness frees us from the past (hurts) and future (worry). Forgiveness roots us in the present. Life only happens in the present. You are life. You are love!
The last point I want to share really makes the above "stick" for me by getting me into action, everyday, in small and when needed, larger ways:
"My desire for success in any area of life, must be greater than my fear."
Meaning, my desire to live from love in all areas of my life (this is how I define success) gives me the courage to face the fear and do what is required to continue.