"We are not limited by what we don't have. We are limited by what we don't use." -Bob Goff
Lately in my conversations with people there is a recurring theme: shift.
More specifically, the need/desire/want for a shift in...something.
What I am noticing in these interactions is how often we get caught in the false belief that shift happens outside of us. Meaning, we are looking to something or someone outside of ourselves to make it better so to speak. We often waste energy suffering while we "wait". We feel stuck, agitated, depressed. It's a rabbit hole that we can get lost in, and drag others down with us, if we are not mindful.
Here's what I want to suggest.
Instead of looking and waiting for the shift to happen on the outside (i.e: job, home, relationship, financial situation, family, etc), look inside.
Let me explain.
When we shift our perspective and look within, we prevent further energy drain in the form of suffering. We open ourselves to receive clarity about what we can do. We move from ego/lack mindset to divine/prosperity mindset.
As we move from lack to prosperity, we discover we have what we need inside of us to take action. The energy shifts from dis-connected /dis-empowering to connected / empowering.
Why is this internal shift important?
Shifting our awareness within helps us access the deeper "I", which is the place of stillness some experience during meditation, writing, running... When we access the deeper "I" we bring together the dimension of stillness and thinking. This process opens the doorway to empowered action. Insights and choices arise that were once blocked when we were caught in ego/lack mindset.
I don't have children, yet. For a long time, I didn't want children. I chose to focus on building my career and becoming an "adult" myself to say the least!
Today, I want children in my life. I am open to how that happens.
At times when people ask me about having children, and then hear I am 43, etc, etc, it can be "depressing" --- if I allow myself to get caught in the belief of what I don't have...children.
Sometimes I create my own suffering with thoughts about not have/will never have/impossible etc.
Following me? I trust some of you understand what I am saying here. Pretty much when we focus on what we don't have, and think we ought to have, whatever that is, we suffer. The greater the gap between what we don't think we have...and what we want...the greater the suffering. So, let's mind the gap and work to reduce and close it so we return to inner peace (soul congruence - more on this another time)
In talking with people and reflecting on my own inquiry about children, I realized it makes so much more sense to focus on what we can do about it! I am a triple Leo so action is in my blood anyway.
When I began shifting my attention inward, accessing the "deeper I", I got clear on what I am not using in my desire to have children in my life. From this I realized I want to help foster families deal with challenging feelings and navigating the parent/child relationship. Relationships are one of my favorite topics and I have many tools to offer in service to this. Voila. Stillness. Clarity. Action.
If you are feeling the suffering of wanting something outside of you to shift, please, stop it. Try what I have explained here. Shift your focus within. Access the "deeper I". Discover what have within right now that you can use in service to what you want to shift outside. Then take empowered action. Be patient. Everything is a process.