death sharpens the lens

"I discovered that people are not really afraid of dying; they're afraid of not having lived, not ever having deeply considered their life's higher purpose, and not ever having stepped into that purpose and at least tried to make a difference in the world." -- J oseph Jaworski, Synchronicity: The Inner Path of Leadership 

​On Wednesday, May 22, 2024 my sweet mother made her way peacefully back home.
I was fortunate to witness her leaving this realm over the  previous few days. It was beautiful and heart breaking.

She was SO ready to return home. She spoke of being excited to reunite with my sweet father who passed 20 years ago.
While I am grateful she is at peace, my hearts aches deeply. Both parents gone from the physical realm now.

At her funeral, I had the privilege of writing and sharing her eulogy. Fortunately I have written my own eulogy several times. It's a wonderful exercise. It has helped me to get comfortable with my own death. It has helped me reflect on the legacy I wish to leave. Most importantly, writing my eulogy has helped me sharpen the lens on how I wish to live my life NOW.

While writing her eulogy, I was reminded of a story I heard from an EMT.
When the EMT was starting out, upon arriving to a critical scene, often the person would ask, "Am I going to live?".
One hundred percent of the time, the EMT responded, "yes", even if that was a lie.
A few years later, the EMT decided to tell the truth. If he thought the person was going to die, he would say so.

This truth prompted 3 reflections from the dying:

1. Did I make a difference?
2. Will  I be remembered?
3. Sharing of regrets.

Powerful reflections.

​Death sharpens the lens. 

Death awakens us. It awakens us to LIFE.  By life I mean to the pain, injustice, sorrow, as well as to the love, beauty, and grace. It awakens us to what is possible as well as to what is no longer possible.

Death is a constant reminder we have no guarantees. Ultimately, we are not in control of anything except our choices. Our choices are everything.

Death is a reminder for me to keep waking up to my authentic self, inner purpose, and what I am "here" for on this brief Earth journey. 

We all awaken in different ways and at different rates. It may happen slowly over time, or there may be an event that opens the door. For me it has been a combination of slow and fast awakenings that continue to happen. Over the last 20 years as I have dedicated my life to finding my purpose and supporting others doing the same, I understand and accept the timing is divine. It's our job to keep showing up with love, compassion, patience, acceptance, enthusiasm , gratitude, and curiosity.

 Why I have shared this? A few reasons. 

I have found it's helpful to understand where we come from and how experiences have shaped us in order to get clarity on where we want to go...and why it matters.

My experiences - the most painful ones - are the ones that drove me deeper into myself. I have always been a student of life and have dedicated myself to being the best version of me. The pain and my desire to transmute pain into fuel for my journey has influenced my choices to explore the darker places. Ultimately, those dark places were brought into the light and healed. No dark, no light. We are both. No mud. No lotus.

The journey of life is to awaken by bringing what is in the dark into the light of awareness with compassion and love in order for us to heal. It is then that we can begin making choices that align with our life purpose.

I have also found it helpful to remember that situations, people, events, and circumstances don't define us. They can inform us, guide us, and show us what we want and don't want.

Ultimately, it is our choices that create our life, only always.

This recognition brings deep appreciation of how powerful we all really are. Not ego power by the way, divine power.

This recognition also begs the question - what life are we creating and why?
Why are we here? What does it all mean? Who am I? What's the purpose of pain? What's my life purpose? Are my inner and outer purpose aligned? If not, why not? Will I be remembered? For what? Did I make a difference? How can I live with no regrets? What am I willing to do starting NOW?

I love these questions. Are you asking them? They are a catalyst for deepening into the present moment and living your legacy NOW.

My purpose has always been to transform lives. How I "do" that has evolved over the years and will continue to evolve. The inner work of self discovery brings wisdom of what's next.

My mother lived a life dedicated to her faith, God, and her family. It was simple, deep, and powerful. She taught me to have NO regrets.  She taught me the value of discipline, and having choices. She taught me how to be a good citizen of the world. Perhaps most importantly she taught me to advocate for and protect who and what I love. It took me a long time to appreciate the  simplicity of her life. I get it now. 

My life will continue to be lived in honor of her spirit. My next 50 years will be dedicated to loving deeply and being loved deeply. There are endless manifestations of this deep love. How exciting!

I hope you will join me,
Stephanie